Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
It was so cold in Washington, Dick Cheney had to use his heart defibrillator to jump start his car.
It was so cold in New York City, cab drivers were being treated for frostbite of the middle finger.
It was so cold here in la when I drove in this morning, I had to swerve to avoid the penguins marching across the Hollywood freeway.
President Bush’s approval rating is on the rise. He is up 5 points this week. You know what you call that? A Christmas miracle!
According to the U.S. Ambassador in Pakistan, Osama bin Laden may not be in control of al Qaeda anymore. I just hope for everybody in al Qaeda the new boss isn’t some kind of American hating nut case.
Letterman
"King Kong” opens tonight. As a result the terror alert has been raised to banana.
This "King Kong” craze is big. He’s so popular that next he may run for Governor of California.
Everyone is in the holiday spirit. Today Tom Cruise was lecturing Matt Lauer on egg nog.
Conan
In an interview with Brian Williams, President Bush said that he knows a lot of people that are glad that we are in Iraq. When asked who, he said, "The leaders of North Korea and Iran.”
Leno
It was so cold in Washington, Dick Cheney had to use his heart defibrillator to jump start his car.
It was so cold in New York City, cab drivers were being treated for frostbite of the middle finger.
It was so cold here in la when I drove in this morning, I had to swerve to avoid the penguins marching across the Hollywood freeway.
President Bush’s approval rating is on the rise. He is up 5 points this week. You know what you call that? A Christmas miracle!
According to the U.S. Ambassador in Pakistan, Osama bin Laden may not be in control of al Qaeda anymore. I just hope for everybody in al Qaeda the new boss isn’t some kind of American hating nut case.
Letterman
"King Kong” opens tonight. As a result the terror alert has been raised to banana.
This "King Kong” craze is big. He’s so popular that next he may run for Governor of California.
Everyone is in the holiday spirit. Today Tom Cruise was lecturing Matt Lauer on egg nog.
Conan
In an interview with Brian Williams, President Bush said that he knows a lot of people that are glad that we are in Iraq. When asked who, he said, "The leaders of North Korea and Iran.”
