Monday, October 10, 2005
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
The latest approval polls came out today. Not looking good for President Bush. According to the latest polls, he is now two points below the bird flu.
Here’s one of the symptoms of bird flu. If you find yourself going to bathroom on the windshield of your car. You may have the bird flu.
President Bush said that today, "More and more Iraqis are able to take the fight to the enemy.” The problem, the enemy is more and more Iraqis.
In a scathing new book former FBI Chief Louis Freeh criticizes former President Bill Clinton’s "moral compass.” You all remember Bill Clinton’s moral compass. Which, I believe it was always pointing north.
Last night was the Clintons 30th wedding anniversary. You know what keeps them together — spite.
President Bush is taking more liberal positions. For example global warming. He used to be against it. Now it's the Republican plan for heating homes this winter.
Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers told the "New York Times” that George Bush was the most brilliant man she ever met. This is scary. She only has one known opinion and that’s it?
As you may have heard, Boy George was arrested after they found cocaine in his New York City apartment. I wasn’t surprised they found cocaine. I was surprised they were able to find Boy George. Where’s he been since ’83?
Letterman
We’ve had so much rain here this week. Do you realize that we are this close to being ignored by FEMA!
eBay has blocked the sale of stun guns to New Yorkers. How are we now going to stop charging rats?!
A lot of people are blaming the Yankees loss on A-Rod, Alex Rodriguez. Saying he’s been a disappointment. Thank God! I’m no longer the most overpaid disappointment in New York.
Leno
The latest approval polls came out today. Not looking good for President Bush. According to the latest polls, he is now two points below the bird flu.
Here’s one of the symptoms of bird flu. If you find yourself going to bathroom on the windshield of your car. You may have the bird flu.
President Bush said that today, "More and more Iraqis are able to take the fight to the enemy.” The problem, the enemy is more and more Iraqis.
In a scathing new book former FBI Chief Louis Freeh criticizes former President Bill Clinton’s "moral compass.” You all remember Bill Clinton’s moral compass. Which, I believe it was always pointing north.
Last night was the Clintons 30th wedding anniversary. You know what keeps them together — spite.
President Bush is taking more liberal positions. For example global warming. He used to be against it. Now it's the Republican plan for heating homes this winter.
Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers told the "New York Times” that George Bush was the most brilliant man she ever met. This is scary. She only has one known opinion and that’s it?
As you may have heard, Boy George was arrested after they found cocaine in his New York City apartment. I wasn’t surprised they found cocaine. I was surprised they were able to find Boy George. Where’s he been since ’83?
Letterman
We’ve had so much rain here this week. Do you realize that we are this close to being ignored by FEMA!
eBay has blocked the sale of stun guns to New Yorkers. How are we now going to stop charging rats?!
A lot of people are blaming the Yankees loss on A-Rod, Alex Rodriguez. Saying he’s been a disappointment. Thank God! I’m no longer the most overpaid disappointment in New York.
