Sunday, October 16, 2005
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Happy Yom Kippur. It feels like the al Jazeera network around here today. No Jewish writers!
Well, I guess you heard. Major League Baseball has a new policy…three strikes and you walk!
That was a bad call. Did you see that last night? The White Sox and the Angels game. Even Harriet Miers said, "Is this the most qualified umpire we could find?”
Bush is getting a lot of grief from conservative republicans over Harriet Miers’ lack of legal opinions, which is surprising. A woman without any opinions – that’s a republican’s dream!
Al Gore said this week he is ruling out ever running for president again. He said he has no desire to be a presidential candidate ever again. Apparently sounds like he might have had some bad experience in the past. I guess he figured he won once.
In speech earlier this at Harvard, Bill Clinton said he has no idea if Hillary will run for president. But he says if he ever sees her again he’ll certainly ask.
Letterman
It’s been raining like crazy! Now rained for like 15 straight days. The only nice thing about all the rain is that for a change all the puddles aren’t man made.
It was raining so hard down in D.C. that Tom Delay didn’t have to launder his money.
How about the Yankees? Alex Rodriguez is now apologizing for his poor performance – don’t’ expect that out of me tonight.
Remember that show the "Simple Life”? It starred Paris Hilton and her little friend Nicole? It was on Fox for a few years. Well now it has been cancelled. There goes the golden age of television!
Leno
Happy Yom Kippur. It feels like the al Jazeera network around here today. No Jewish writers!
Well, I guess you heard. Major League Baseball has a new policy…three strikes and you walk!
That was a bad call. Did you see that last night? The White Sox and the Angels game. Even Harriet Miers said, "Is this the most qualified umpire we could find?”
Bush is getting a lot of grief from conservative republicans over Harriet Miers’ lack of legal opinions, which is surprising. A woman without any opinions – that’s a republican’s dream!
Al Gore said this week he is ruling out ever running for president again. He said he has no desire to be a presidential candidate ever again. Apparently sounds like he might have had some bad experience in the past. I guess he figured he won once.
In speech earlier this at Harvard, Bill Clinton said he has no idea if Hillary will run for president. But he says if he ever sees her again he’ll certainly ask.
Letterman
It’s been raining like crazy! Now rained for like 15 straight days. The only nice thing about all the rain is that for a change all the puddles aren’t man made.
It was raining so hard down in D.C. that Tom Delay didn’t have to launder his money.
How about the Yankees? Alex Rodriguez is now apologizing for his poor performance – don’t’ expect that out of me tonight.
Remember that show the "Simple Life”? It starred Paris Hilton and her little friend Nicole? It was on Fox for a few years. Well now it has been cancelled. There goes the golden age of television!
