Sunday, September 18, 2005
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Welcome to our 3000th show tonight. I was thinking about that. We did our first show in May of 1992; a man named George Bush was president, his approval rating was only 39%. And someone named Clinton wanted to replace him in the White House. So nothing has changed really.
You know who else is celebrating their 3000th anniversary, the Rolling Stones.
Tomorrow night in a speech to the nation President Bush will do what he does best. Explaining what went wrong.
President Bush said racism played no part on the slow rescue effort; he’s right, that‘s the one good thing about incompetence: it is color blind.
Al Gore gave a fiery speech this week criticizing the Bush administration. And then Gore took some questions from the other customers who were waiting in line at Starbucks.
One of the very first businesses to reopen in New Orleans after the flood will be a place called "Big Daddy’s Strip Club”. Nice to see FEMA finally getting involved in this thing.
Walt Disney has opened its first theme park in China. You thought the lines for rides were long in this country – try going to a place that has a billion people in it.
This must be exciting for the people there. To be able to get into the stores and buy that Disney stuff that’s made in china.
This just in, Britney Spears had a baby boy just a couple hours ago. She says she can’t wait until the baby lip-syncs its first words.
Leno
Welcome to our 3000th show tonight. I was thinking about that. We did our first show in May of 1992; a man named George Bush was president, his approval rating was only 39%. And someone named Clinton wanted to replace him in the White House. So nothing has changed really.
You know who else is celebrating their 3000th anniversary, the Rolling Stones.
Tomorrow night in a speech to the nation President Bush will do what he does best. Explaining what went wrong.
President Bush said racism played no part on the slow rescue effort; he’s right, that‘s the one good thing about incompetence: it is color blind.
Al Gore gave a fiery speech this week criticizing the Bush administration. And then Gore took some questions from the other customers who were waiting in line at Starbucks.
One of the very first businesses to reopen in New Orleans after the flood will be a place called "Big Daddy’s Strip Club”. Nice to see FEMA finally getting involved in this thing.
Walt Disney has opened its first theme park in China. You thought the lines for rides were long in this country – try going to a place that has a billion people in it.
This must be exciting for the people there. To be able to get into the stores and buy that Disney stuff that’s made in china.
This just in, Britney Spears had a baby boy just a couple hours ago. She says she can’t wait until the baby lip-syncs its first words.
