Saturday, September 17, 2005
Late Nite Jokes
Leno
Los Angeles has a new slogan "batteries not included”.
Well as I’m sure you know, we had a huge power outage here in Los Angeles yesterday. Two million people lost power. NBC was actually off the air. Here’s the sad part – the ratings never changed.
Our power here at the studio was out for hours. And what could we do? It’s not like NBC is owned by General Electric or anything.
I tell you a lot of industry was affect by the blackout. In fact, up in Barstow, a lot of the meth labs are still not back online.
Yesterday President Bush toured New Orleans. He saw something that was below sea level. His approval rating.
A new poll by "New York Post” says that women in New York have sex more times per week than any other place in the country. Did you see the reaction? (picture: Bill Clinton holding an "I love NY” bumpersticker.)
I watched some great softball today – the senate hearings on John Roberts.
Congratulations to supermodel Heidi Klum and her husband Seal – they just had a baby boy. Which I believe would make the child a "baby seal”.
Letterman
The traffic here in New York City is terrible right now. There’s a big summit coming up, President Bush will be in town. In fact the current President of Afghanistan is in town, and his cab driver today was the former President of Afghanistan.
Are you watching the senate conformation hearings of John Roberts? It’s been sort of dull so they decided to liven up the process by making him answer in the form of a question.
All of the senators are getting a chance to speak, like ten minutes to ask questions. Ted Kennedy spent all this time today telling his version of "The Aristocrats”.
FEMA Director Mike Brown has resigned. He now wants to spend more time not responding to his family.
He can now go focus on being ineffective in the private sector.
Conan
The Director of FEMA, Mike Brown has resigned. His next job will be overseeing the NBC fall lineup.
Disney has opened up its first theme park in China. 10,000 children showed up on opening day – and that was just to make the t-shirts.
Leno
Los Angeles has a new slogan "batteries not included”.
Well as I’m sure you know, we had a huge power outage here in Los Angeles yesterday. Two million people lost power. NBC was actually off the air. Here’s the sad part – the ratings never changed.
Our power here at the studio was out for hours. And what could we do? It’s not like NBC is owned by General Electric or anything.
I tell you a lot of industry was affect by the blackout. In fact, up in Barstow, a lot of the meth labs are still not back online.
Yesterday President Bush toured New Orleans. He saw something that was below sea level. His approval rating.
A new poll by "New York Post” says that women in New York have sex more times per week than any other place in the country. Did you see the reaction? (picture: Bill Clinton holding an "I love NY” bumpersticker.)
I watched some great softball today – the senate hearings on John Roberts.
Congratulations to supermodel Heidi Klum and her husband Seal – they just had a baby boy. Which I believe would make the child a "baby seal”.
Letterman
The traffic here in New York City is terrible right now. There’s a big summit coming up, President Bush will be in town. In fact the current President of Afghanistan is in town, and his cab driver today was the former President of Afghanistan.
Are you watching the senate conformation hearings of John Roberts? It’s been sort of dull so they decided to liven up the process by making him answer in the form of a question.
All of the senators are getting a chance to speak, like ten minutes to ask questions. Ted Kennedy spent all this time today telling his version of "The Aristocrats”.
FEMA Director Mike Brown has resigned. He now wants to spend more time not responding to his family.
He can now go focus on being ineffective in the private sector.
Conan
The Director of FEMA, Mike Brown has resigned. His next job will be overseeing the NBC fall lineup.
Disney has opened up its first theme park in China. 10,000 children showed up on opening day – and that was just to make the t-shirts.
