Friday, July 22, 2005
Late-Night Jokes
Leno
Thank you once again for coming out on another hot day. It was so hot Michael Jackson walked up to a boy selling lemonade and just got the lemonade.
It was so hot McDonald’s employees were keeping cool by putting the frozen meat patties under their arms.
I was sweating like Jude Law watching an episode of "Cheaters”!
Did you all feel the ground shake last night? Did you feel that? It wasn’t an earthquake just the Supreme Court shifting another five feet to the right.
Last night President Bush picked Judge John Roberts to be his nominee for the Supreme Court. The name was actually leaked to the press a couple of hours earlier. Boy that Karl Rove is unbelievable isn’t he?
President Bush said the job of the Supreme Court is extremely important because as you know these are the people who choose the president of the United States.
He’s only 50 years old. He could serve. President Bush’s Supreme Court nominee, John Roberts, is only fifty years old. That means if he serves for thirty years he could still be on the court when we finally pull out of Iraq.
Earlier this week, President Bush held a state dinner last night for the Prime Minister of India. Did you see them together? They made kind of an odd couple. I think it was the first time ever in the White House they ever had a cowboy and an Indian together.
Al Gore announced he is starting his own TV cable network. He's billing it as the first network for 18 to 34-year-olds. Apparently al has never heard of MTV.
The trial of Saddam Hussein is beginning. They say the evidence against Saddam Hussein is so strong that even a California jury might convict him.
Did you know it was ride your motorcycle to work day? Not to be confused with Bill Clinton’s favorite day. That’s ride your hog at work day. That’s a whole other thing.
Leno
Thank you once again for coming out on another hot day. It was so hot Michael Jackson walked up to a boy selling lemonade and just got the lemonade.
It was so hot McDonald’s employees were keeping cool by putting the frozen meat patties under their arms.
I was sweating like Jude Law watching an episode of "Cheaters”!
Did you all feel the ground shake last night? Did you feel that? It wasn’t an earthquake just the Supreme Court shifting another five feet to the right.
Last night President Bush picked Judge John Roberts to be his nominee for the Supreme Court. The name was actually leaked to the press a couple of hours earlier. Boy that Karl Rove is unbelievable isn’t he?
President Bush said the job of the Supreme Court is extremely important because as you know these are the people who choose the president of the United States.
He’s only 50 years old. He could serve. President Bush’s Supreme Court nominee, John Roberts, is only fifty years old. That means if he serves for thirty years he could still be on the court when we finally pull out of Iraq.
Earlier this week, President Bush held a state dinner last night for the Prime Minister of India. Did you see them together? They made kind of an odd couple. I think it was the first time ever in the White House they ever had a cowboy and an Indian together.
Al Gore announced he is starting his own TV cable network. He's billing it as the first network for 18 to 34-year-olds. Apparently al has never heard of MTV.
The trial of Saddam Hussein is beginning. They say the evidence against Saddam Hussein is so strong that even a California jury might convict him.
Did you know it was ride your motorcycle to work day? Not to be confused with Bill Clinton’s favorite day. That’s ride your hog at work day. That’s a whole other thing.
