Saturday, July 9, 2005
Late-Night Jokes
Leno
The president of CBS News has commissioned his staff to come up with an evening news format that favors more of a "storytelling” style over the traditional news format. Storytelling? So it sounds like they’re bringing back Dan Rather, huh?
Earlier tonight on the Travel Channel was a special called "Vegas Turns 100”. The special was the special was hosted by Donny Osmond. Because what says "Vegas” more than a church-going Mormon from Utah?
You want someone showing you around Vegas you want Colin Farrel or maybe a Kennedy, not Donny Osmond.
The world series of poker is being shown on ESPN. This raises the question - are poker players really athletes? Even bowlers are going, "Shut up! Get out of here!"
Hopefully ending the gay rumors that have plagued him for years, Prince Albert of Monaco announced he has a 2 year old son with a flight attendant. The flight attendant’s name...Bob.
In a special "Tour de France” edition of "Sports Illustrated” Lance Armstrong who’s just doing great, reveals that he relieves himself during a race by simply pulling down his shorts and going, so, occasionally, Lance hits spectators and he feels horrible because sometimes they aren’t French.
"Dancing With The Stars” is over, they had the finale last night. It was a big hit. In fact, "Dancing With The Stars” did so well in the ratings this summer that next season on the show they may have actual stars on it.
"War of The Worlds” continuing to do huge business. You know the H.G. Wells classic where the earth is invaded by aliens and they can’t be stopped. They went from city to city vaporizing everything in their path. And California still voted to give them driver’s licenses.
Paris Hilton has confirmed that she wrote a letter to Prince Charles asking permission to get married in Westminster Abby. Isn’t that amazing? Paris Hilton knows how to write a letter.
Leno
The president of CBS News has commissioned his staff to come up with an evening news format that favors more of a "storytelling” style over the traditional news format. Storytelling? So it sounds like they’re bringing back Dan Rather, huh?
Earlier tonight on the Travel Channel was a special called "Vegas Turns 100”. The special was the special was hosted by Donny Osmond. Because what says "Vegas” more than a church-going Mormon from Utah?
You want someone showing you around Vegas you want Colin Farrel or maybe a Kennedy, not Donny Osmond.
The world series of poker is being shown on ESPN. This raises the question - are poker players really athletes? Even bowlers are going, "Shut up! Get out of here!"
Hopefully ending the gay rumors that have plagued him for years, Prince Albert of Monaco announced he has a 2 year old son with a flight attendant. The flight attendant’s name...Bob.
In a special "Tour de France” edition of "Sports Illustrated” Lance Armstrong who’s just doing great, reveals that he relieves himself during a race by simply pulling down his shorts and going, so, occasionally, Lance hits spectators and he feels horrible because sometimes they aren’t French.
"Dancing With The Stars” is over, they had the finale last night. It was a big hit. In fact, "Dancing With The Stars” did so well in the ratings this summer that next season on the show they may have actual stars on it.
"War of The Worlds” continuing to do huge business. You know the H.G. Wells classic where the earth is invaded by aliens and they can’t be stopped. They went from city to city vaporizing everything in their path. And California still voted to give them driver’s licenses.
Paris Hilton has confirmed that she wrote a letter to Prince Charles asking permission to get married in Westminster Abby. Isn’t that amazing? Paris Hilton knows how to write a letter.
