Monday, June 6, 2005
Late-Night Jokes
Leno
The Supreme Court has ruled that medicinal marijuana use is illegal. That ought to teach those people to come down with cancer!
I tried to call Russell Crowe today on the phone but couldn’t get through.
Did you hear about that? Russell Crowe threw a telephone at a hotel employee. Well that ought to teach them to charge $10 for a local call! I’m with Russell on this one.
The new Indiana Jones movie will have a younger sidekick. Hey a younger sidekick could be Wilfred Brimley.
Letterman
It’s summer time and getting hotter. It’s hot as hell right now in New York City. It’s so hot that today on my lunch break I took a walk through the park and saw a squirrel with an oven mitt on its nuts.
This just in…Russell Crowe has assaulted a hotel clerk with an ice bucket.
Conan
Huge news in the world of television. It was just announced that Ted Koppel will retire from "Nightline” this year after his contract expires. It’s now official…I will be the man with the dorkiest hair on TV.
Leno
The Supreme Court has ruled that medicinal marijuana use is illegal. That ought to teach those people to come down with cancer!
I tried to call Russell Crowe today on the phone but couldn’t get through.
Did you hear about that? Russell Crowe threw a telephone at a hotel employee. Well that ought to teach them to charge $10 for a local call! I’m with Russell on this one.
The new Indiana Jones movie will have a younger sidekick. Hey a younger sidekick could be Wilfred Brimley.
Letterman
It’s summer time and getting hotter. It’s hot as hell right now in New York City. It’s so hot that today on my lunch break I took a walk through the park and saw a squirrel with an oven mitt on its nuts.
This just in…Russell Crowe has assaulted a hotel clerk with an ice bucket.
Conan
Huge news in the world of television. It was just announced that Ted Koppel will retire from "Nightline” this year after his contract expires. It’s now official…I will be the man with the dorkiest hair on TV.
