Monday, May 30, 2005
Late-Night Jokes
Leno
Well you all ready for the big Memorial Day weekend coming up? A lot people will be piling their families into the SUV driving to the gas station, see the price of gas and then driving back home again.
Today in a surprising twist prosecutors charged Michael Jackson with fondling Mary Lay Letourneau’s new husband.
Now it's all up to the jury. Michael Jackson is in the hands of the jury. Which is kind of ironic, this is first time they’ve ever been in the hands of adults.
Actually there’s a lot of talk that if Michael is acquitted, he will be leaving the country. Or as he calls it, he’s being transferred to another parish.
Today President Bush delivered the commencement address at the naval academy. This appearance at the naval academy was historic for President Bush. For the first time he was on a military base and people could actually remember him being there.
There was one awkward moment - when Bush met a rear admiral, he said "I respect your lifestyle, but I don’t’ think you should get married.
A Washington based transportation industry research group says major roads in metropolitan areas are falling apart. That just goes to show you how fat we’re getting in this country. Now we’re breaking the roads.
In Middlefield, Ohio, they opened an Amish Wal-Mart, a Wal-Mart catering to the Amish community: the Amish people say it’s the greatest thing since unsliced bread.
Donald Trump has started his own online university. It’s a school where you don’t have to attend classes in person or as Ohio State calls it, the football program.
Leno
Well you all ready for the big Memorial Day weekend coming up? A lot people will be piling their families into the SUV driving to the gas station, see the price of gas and then driving back home again.
Today in a surprising twist prosecutors charged Michael Jackson with fondling Mary Lay Letourneau’s new husband.
Now it's all up to the jury. Michael Jackson is in the hands of the jury. Which is kind of ironic, this is first time they’ve ever been in the hands of adults.
Actually there’s a lot of talk that if Michael is acquitted, he will be leaving the country. Or as he calls it, he’s being transferred to another parish.
Today President Bush delivered the commencement address at the naval academy. This appearance at the naval academy was historic for President Bush. For the first time he was on a military base and people could actually remember him being there.
There was one awkward moment - when Bush met a rear admiral, he said "I respect your lifestyle, but I don’t’ think you should get married.
A Washington based transportation industry research group says major roads in metropolitan areas are falling apart. That just goes to show you how fat we’re getting in this country. Now we’re breaking the roads.
In Middlefield, Ohio, they opened an Amish Wal-Mart, a Wal-Mart catering to the Amish community: the Amish people say it’s the greatest thing since unsliced bread.
Donald Trump has started his own online university. It’s a school where you don’t have to attend classes in person or as Ohio State calls it, the football program.
