Monday, May 9, 2005
Late-Night Jokes
Leno
Washington says they want to launch of a ten-year initiative to reverse childhood obesity. It’s called, "leave no child’s fat behind, behind.”
Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody! This is a holiday celebrated by over 10 million Mexicans….and that’s just here in L.A.!
Do you know what Cinco de Mayo means? It means "We outnumber you five to one.”
Please, don’t confused Cinco de Mayo with what’s going on here at NBC, that’s Cinco de ratings!
This is what I love about California - we have an Austrian governor speaking broken English wishing us Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Looks like Fox is now trying to get back at ABC news. Tomorrow night on the Fox News Network, a big expose on how early in her career, Barbara Walters was sleeping with Teddy Roosevelt. Actual Matthew Brady photographs.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Little Known Facts About My Son (Presented By Dave's Mom)
10. His date for the senior prom? You're looking at her.
9. Classmates voted him "Most likely to be turned down for 'The Tonight Show'".
8. Got fired from after school job at supermarket for touching the meat.
7. That is his real hair.
6. Once ate $3.85 worth of nickels.
5, He's straight.
4. Insists on calling me "mommy".
3. He actually thinks the staff likes him.
2. Would spend hours sewing outfits for the backyard squirrels.
1. Earned a Boy Scout merit badge in whining.
Leno
Washington says they want to launch of a ten-year initiative to reverse childhood obesity. It’s called, "leave no child’s fat behind, behind.”
Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody! This is a holiday celebrated by over 10 million Mexicans….and that’s just here in L.A.!
Do you know what Cinco de Mayo means? It means "We outnumber you five to one.”
Please, don’t confused Cinco de Mayo with what’s going on here at NBC, that’s Cinco de ratings!
This is what I love about California - we have an Austrian governor speaking broken English wishing us Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Looks like Fox is now trying to get back at ABC news. Tomorrow night on the Fox News Network, a big expose on how early in her career, Barbara Walters was sleeping with Teddy Roosevelt. Actual Matthew Brady photographs.
Letterman's Top Ten
Top Ten Little Known Facts About My Son (Presented By Dave's Mom)
10. His date for the senior prom? You're looking at her.
9. Classmates voted him "Most likely to be turned down for 'The Tonight Show'".
8. Got fired from after school job at supermarket for touching the meat.
7. That is his real hair.
6. Once ate $3.85 worth of nickels.
5, He's straight.
4. Insists on calling me "mommy".
3. He actually thinks the staff likes him.
2. Would spend hours sewing outfits for the backyard squirrels.
1. Earned a Boy Scout merit badge in whining.
