Monday, March 14, 2005
Late-Night Jokes
Leno
Hey, before we get started, has anybody seen my pajama bottoms?
The gag order has been lifted. I can finally say what I have not been allowed to say all this time. Michael Jackson is my father.
Yesterday, Michael Jackson showed up at the courthouse late. Or as he likes to call it, "a little behind”.
When Michael actually did arrive he was looking disheveled wearing pajama bottoms and walking stiffly. Which is usually how most boys leave the Neverland Ranch.
In fact, the worse part was when the kid saw the pajamas and said, "Hey those are mine.”
You know what I think happened – I think Michael got confused. I think he saw all those boys on the witness stand and thought there was going to be a sleep-over.
In the Michael Jackson trial, the jury wasn’t in court. They were given three days off to let their skin stop crawling.
A lot of people thought Michael was faking it yesterday but people who know Michael say he does have back problems that flare up from time to time. Like when he’s on trial for child molestation.
A lot of people think Michael may be suicidal. That’s the latest theory. Just last night he swallowed an entire bottle of Flintstone Chewables.
The boy testified that Michael Jackson was walking around naked and aroused. Boy all of a sudden Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl thing doesn’t seem so bad, huh?
You know who I feel sorry for in all this? Robert Blake. Today he stuck his head inside the jury room to see how it was going and they were all watching the Michael Jackson trial.
See here’s my feelings on this whole thing – if Michael Jackson wants to have sex with kids, he should do what other people do and become a teacher?
Why does Michael stay at the Ramada Inn - kids stay free.
Why does Michael Jackson like blackjack? He gets to double down on ten or eleven.
What did Michael Jackson tell the priest? "Hey, I saw him first.”
Michael Jackson is so broke…he’s only hitting on kids with trust funds. That’s how bad it is now.
Michael is so broke, today he was pouring red wine in cans of RC Cola.
Michael Jackson is broke. Funny, now he can actually only afford one glove.
Michael Jackson is so broke, now when he dangles a kid over a balcony it’s to shake spare change out their pockets.
Michael Jackson so broke….he’s now considered poor white trash.
Leno
Hey, before we get started, has anybody seen my pajama bottoms?
The gag order has been lifted. I can finally say what I have not been allowed to say all this time. Michael Jackson is my father.
Yesterday, Michael Jackson showed up at the courthouse late. Or as he likes to call it, "a little behind”.
When Michael actually did arrive he was looking disheveled wearing pajama bottoms and walking stiffly. Which is usually how most boys leave the Neverland Ranch.
In fact, the worse part was when the kid saw the pajamas and said, "Hey those are mine.”
You know what I think happened – I think Michael got confused. I think he saw all those boys on the witness stand and thought there was going to be a sleep-over.
In the Michael Jackson trial, the jury wasn’t in court. They were given three days off to let their skin stop crawling.
A lot of people thought Michael was faking it yesterday but people who know Michael say he does have back problems that flare up from time to time. Like when he’s on trial for child molestation.
A lot of people think Michael may be suicidal. That’s the latest theory. Just last night he swallowed an entire bottle of Flintstone Chewables.
The boy testified that Michael Jackson was walking around naked and aroused. Boy all of a sudden Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl thing doesn’t seem so bad, huh?
You know who I feel sorry for in all this? Robert Blake. Today he stuck his head inside the jury room to see how it was going and they were all watching the Michael Jackson trial.
See here’s my feelings on this whole thing – if Michael Jackson wants to have sex with kids, he should do what other people do and become a teacher?
Why does Michael stay at the Ramada Inn - kids stay free.
Why does Michael Jackson like blackjack? He gets to double down on ten or eleven.
What did Michael Jackson tell the priest? "Hey, I saw him first.”
Michael Jackson is so broke…he’s only hitting on kids with trust funds. That’s how bad it is now.
Michael is so broke, today he was pouring red wine in cans of RC Cola.
Michael Jackson is broke. Funny, now he can actually only afford one glove.
Michael Jackson is so broke, now when he dangles a kid over a balcony it’s to shake spare change out their pockets.
Michael Jackson so broke….he’s now considered poor white trash.
