Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Leno
Happy holidays everybody! I am so happy. I didn’t tell you this Kev. Today I crossed the first person off my Christmas list….Scott Peterson!
I guess you heard the jury has decided on the death penalty for Scott Peterson. This Peterson guy still doesn't get it - while the judge was reading the sentence he was on the phone with Amber Frey saying he was in Las Vegas.
Kind of ironic - you know what the jury said after the verdict? "We’re going fishing.”
But I thought this was nice, after the verdict of death, Mark Geragos, his attorney, turned to Scott and said, "I’ll knock 10% off.”
Mark Geragos also represented Winona Ryder. She was found guilty. Now he represented Scott Peterson. He was found guilty. Maybe we should take up a collection and get Mark Geragos to represent Robert Blake, Phil Spector, and Saddam Hussein. Keep this thing going. He’s got a roll going.
Nothing is going to happen to Scott Peterson for a long time. You know California has 637 prisoners on death row, more than any other state. Most of them have been there more than a quarter century. In fact, California has the only death row where you not only get a last meal, you get a gold watch too.
Our good friend Adam Sandler has a new movie out called "Spanglish”. Where hires a housekeeper who can’t speak English and this causes a lot of problems. No, I’m sorry that’s Bernard Kerik the Homeland Security guy.
President Bush’s nominee for Secretary of Homeland Security, Bernard Kerik, has withdrawn his name. He says it's because of nanny problems, but the "New York Daily” news says that Kerik cheated on his wife and he also cheated on his mistress with another woman. So now Bush thinks he might secretly be a Democrat.
Kerik says he withdrew because questions arose over a former nanny’s immigration status. Apparently she was working here illegally and he didn’t know it. He had no idea she was illegal. And today Kerik was offered security chief at Wal-Mart. They said he’s their kind of guy.
According to a new report, terrorists may try to use laser beams, like a laser pointer, to blind pilots and bring down jets. They say this is impossible to defend against. Unless the pilot has a pair of sunglasses.
Mike Tyson’s fight last night was stopped early. Apparently the airbag went off.
As I’m sure you heard, Mike Tyson was arrested last week in Phoenix, Arizona for jumping on a guy’s car and punching it. It looks like they’re going to make a movie out of it called "Boys on the Hood”!
Here’s an odd story - because the price of scrap metal has quadrupled in the last few months, people are stealing manhole covers around the world and selling them for scrap metal. The manhole covers are then melted down and then sold to companies that make manhole covers to replace all the stolen manhole covers.
Over in China, this Saturday, they are holding the world’s first Miss Plastic Surgery Contest. Or as we call that over here, the Oscars.
According to a new study just released today, fewer American teenagers are getting pregnant. Teen pregnancy is down. Apparently a lot of the kids we thought were pregnant are just obese.
One of the world’s most famous atheists, 81 year old British philosophy professor, Antony Flew said he came to his conclusion that he now believes in God based in part on science. And in part on the fact he’s now 81 years old! If your 81 it’s a good time to believe in God.
Kobe Bryant went into the stands at the Lakers game last night. Did you see that? Not to fight anyone, he was looking for Karl Malone.
Did you hear about that? Kobe is now accusing Malone of hitting on his wife at a Lakers game. Kobe said Malone made a pass at his wife. I guess Malone figured, "Hey somebody has to.”
Kobe was furious. And if you’ve ever seen Kobe play, you know there’s nothing he hates more than making a pass.
Happy holidays everybody! I am so happy. I didn’t tell you this Kev. Today I crossed the first person off my Christmas list….Scott Peterson!
I guess you heard the jury has decided on the death penalty for Scott Peterson. This Peterson guy still doesn't get it - while the judge was reading the sentence he was on the phone with Amber Frey saying he was in Las Vegas.
Kind of ironic - you know what the jury said after the verdict? "We’re going fishing.”
But I thought this was nice, after the verdict of death, Mark Geragos, his attorney, turned to Scott and said, "I’ll knock 10% off.”
Mark Geragos also represented Winona Ryder. She was found guilty. Now he represented Scott Peterson. He was found guilty. Maybe we should take up a collection and get Mark Geragos to represent Robert Blake, Phil Spector, and Saddam Hussein. Keep this thing going. He’s got a roll going.
Nothing is going to happen to Scott Peterson for a long time. You know California has 637 prisoners on death row, more than any other state. Most of them have been there more than a quarter century. In fact, California has the only death row where you not only get a last meal, you get a gold watch too.
Our good friend Adam Sandler has a new movie out called "Spanglish”. Where hires a housekeeper who can’t speak English and this causes a lot of problems. No, I’m sorry that’s Bernard Kerik the Homeland Security guy.
President Bush’s nominee for Secretary of Homeland Security, Bernard Kerik, has withdrawn his name. He says it's because of nanny problems, but the "New York Daily” news says that Kerik cheated on his wife and he also cheated on his mistress with another woman. So now Bush thinks he might secretly be a Democrat.
Kerik says he withdrew because questions arose over a former nanny’s immigration status. Apparently she was working here illegally and he didn’t know it. He had no idea she was illegal. And today Kerik was offered security chief at Wal-Mart. They said he’s their kind of guy.
According to a new report, terrorists may try to use laser beams, like a laser pointer, to blind pilots and bring down jets. They say this is impossible to defend against. Unless the pilot has a pair of sunglasses.
Mike Tyson’s fight last night was stopped early. Apparently the airbag went off.
As I’m sure you heard, Mike Tyson was arrested last week in Phoenix, Arizona for jumping on a guy’s car and punching it. It looks like they’re going to make a movie out of it called "Boys on the Hood”!
Here’s an odd story - because the price of scrap metal has quadrupled in the last few months, people are stealing manhole covers around the world and selling them for scrap metal. The manhole covers are then melted down and then sold to companies that make manhole covers to replace all the stolen manhole covers.
Over in China, this Saturday, they are holding the world’s first Miss Plastic Surgery Contest. Or as we call that over here, the Oscars.
According to a new study just released today, fewer American teenagers are getting pregnant. Teen pregnancy is down. Apparently a lot of the kids we thought were pregnant are just obese.
One of the world’s most famous atheists, 81 year old British philosophy professor, Antony Flew said he came to his conclusion that he now believes in God based in part on science. And in part on the fact he’s now 81 years old! If your 81 it’s a good time to believe in God.
Kobe Bryant went into the stands at the Lakers game last night. Did you see that? Not to fight anyone, he was looking for Karl Malone.
Did you hear about that? Kobe is now accusing Malone of hitting on his wife at a Lakers game. Kobe said Malone made a pass at his wife. I guess Malone figured, "Hey somebody has to.”
Kobe was furious. And if you’ve ever seen Kobe play, you know there’s nothing he hates more than making a pass.
