Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Leno
Today John Kerry’s unveiled his newest campaign slogan... "A mind is a terrible thing to makeup.”
One thing about Kerry - Kerry just can’t seem to shake his rich guy image. Like today he challenged President Bush to three debates and a yacht race.
Did you hear this? "60 minutes” has a new policy. From now on they're going to spend at least "60 minutes” verifying their stories.
On Friday former President Bill Clinton went home from the hospital. Well, let me explain, he left the hospital on Friday, he didn’t get home until this morning. Hillary thinks he’s still there.
I guess he’s a great patient. He’s a nice man, Mr. Clinton. People who work at the hospital were excited, they were happy... in fact, many of the nurses said the former president really left his mark.
You know I’m not sure if our Homeland Security has improved that much. Like today the CIA called the State of Florida and said, "There might be a hurricane heading your way.”
In fact winds were so strong in Cuba, they actually blew some guys who couldn’t play baseball into America.
According to "Men’s Health” magazine, one in nine men claim they’ve been dumped by a woman because of their love for football. And nine out of ten of men dumped didn’t even know the women left until after the Super Bowl.
Tomorrow night on the AMC Network at 10 o’clock they have a documentary called "Republicans in Hollywood”. And then at 10:03, "Democrats in Hollywood” and that runs until 8:00 A.M.
"Republicans in Hollywood”. This is from the same director who brought you "Soul Brothers of Salt Lake City”. Big hit.
If you haven’t heard; Oprah Winfrey celebrated the first show of her 19th season by giving every member of the audience a new car. She gave away 276 cars. We’re doing something even better for our audience. Everybody here will get a picture of me standing next to my 276 cars.
Today John Kerry’s unveiled his newest campaign slogan... "A mind is a terrible thing to makeup.”
One thing about Kerry - Kerry just can’t seem to shake his rich guy image. Like today he challenged President Bush to three debates and a yacht race.
Did you hear this? "60 minutes” has a new policy. From now on they're going to spend at least "60 minutes” verifying their stories.
On Friday former President Bill Clinton went home from the hospital. Well, let me explain, he left the hospital on Friday, he didn’t get home until this morning. Hillary thinks he’s still there.
I guess he’s a great patient. He’s a nice man, Mr. Clinton. People who work at the hospital were excited, they were happy... in fact, many of the nurses said the former president really left his mark.
You know I’m not sure if our Homeland Security has improved that much. Like today the CIA called the State of Florida and said, "There might be a hurricane heading your way.”
In fact winds were so strong in Cuba, they actually blew some guys who couldn’t play baseball into America.
According to "Men’s Health” magazine, one in nine men claim they’ve been dumped by a woman because of their love for football. And nine out of ten of men dumped didn’t even know the women left until after the Super Bowl.
Tomorrow night on the AMC Network at 10 o’clock they have a documentary called "Republicans in Hollywood”. And then at 10:03, "Democrats in Hollywood” and that runs until 8:00 A.M.
"Republicans in Hollywood”. This is from the same director who brought you "Soul Brothers of Salt Lake City”. Big hit.
If you haven’t heard; Oprah Winfrey celebrated the first show of her 19th season by giving every member of the audience a new car. She gave away 276 cars. We’re doing something even better for our audience. Everybody here will get a picture of me standing next to my 276 cars.
