Saturday, September 18, 2004
Leno
Bush and Cheney say they are targeting people who can’t make up their mind. So they’re hoping to get John Kerry’s vote.
Senator Ted Kennedy hitting the campaign trail with John Kerry. You know what they say – two huge heads are better than one.
In Vegas today Kerry accused Bush of "living in a fantasy world.” And everyone in Vegas immediately said, "So? Duh!”
Here’s some trivia - the TV show "Green Acres” debuted on this day in 1965. It was a very funny show about a stuffy pompous lawyer and his rich wife with the foreign accent. Or as John Kerry and his wife call them, trailblazers.
Here’s some good news - unemployment is down to 5.4% but a lot of people are still looking for jobs. If you’re looking for a job in TV, I understand "60 Minutes” needs a fact checker.
CBS News has a new slogan…."it seems real to us.”
The big story this week continues to be these forged documents that turned up on "60 Minutes”. Or, as the Democrats call them, weapons of mass "distraction”!
As I’m sure you know, there was speculation now that someone may have intentionally duped Dan Rather and "60 Minutes” cast by passing them forged documents. Don’t you hate to see these scams that target the elderly? It is wrong!
I think Dan’s getting a little desperate. Like today he produced another witness. This time he brought out "Joan of Arcadia” and she said that god told her the documents were real.
Dan Rather finally acknowledged there are "unanswered questions.” The last time they had this many "unanswered questions” on a TV show, Jessica Simpson was on "Jeopardy”.
I don’t know what the big deal is about these phony documents, I mean the last election we had phony documents too. Remember in Florida they were called ballots.
What a crowd! You sound like servants at Martha Stewart’s house today when she announced she was going to prison! Five months off!
As I’m sure you know – Martha will be going to women’s federal penitentiary or as she calls it, "Trading Spaces: Meet Your New Mommy.”
Did you see Martha’s press conference? She said when she goes to jail she will miss her dogs, cats, canaries horses and chickens. That’s gotta make her daughter feel special? She didn’t even make the top five! Can’t you squeeze her in between the canary and the chicken.
You know, I don’t think Martha gets it. She still has the little kind of arrogant thing. Like today she asked the judge if she could have two cells, so she could have a walk in closet.
Hey, Saturday, the Miss America Pageant. This year the organizers are promising more skin and less talent. Less talent? Is that possible? Turning a lamp on and off to music? We’re not going to see that this year?
Today Oprah announced her selection for her latest book in her book club. It’s the General Motors Pontiac Repair Manual.
Bush and Cheney say they are targeting people who can’t make up their mind. So they’re hoping to get John Kerry’s vote.
Senator Ted Kennedy hitting the campaign trail with John Kerry. You know what they say – two huge heads are better than one.
In Vegas today Kerry accused Bush of "living in a fantasy world.” And everyone in Vegas immediately said, "So? Duh!”
Here’s some trivia - the TV show "Green Acres” debuted on this day in 1965. It was a very funny show about a stuffy pompous lawyer and his rich wife with the foreign accent. Or as John Kerry and his wife call them, trailblazers.
Here’s some good news - unemployment is down to 5.4% but a lot of people are still looking for jobs. If you’re looking for a job in TV, I understand "60 Minutes” needs a fact checker.
CBS News has a new slogan…."it seems real to us.”
The big story this week continues to be these forged documents that turned up on "60 Minutes”. Or, as the Democrats call them, weapons of mass "distraction”!
As I’m sure you know, there was speculation now that someone may have intentionally duped Dan Rather and "60 Minutes” cast by passing them forged documents. Don’t you hate to see these scams that target the elderly? It is wrong!
I think Dan’s getting a little desperate. Like today he produced another witness. This time he brought out "Joan of Arcadia” and she said that god told her the documents were real.
Dan Rather finally acknowledged there are "unanswered questions.” The last time they had this many "unanswered questions” on a TV show, Jessica Simpson was on "Jeopardy”.
I don’t know what the big deal is about these phony documents, I mean the last election we had phony documents too. Remember in Florida they were called ballots.
What a crowd! You sound like servants at Martha Stewart’s house today when she announced she was going to prison! Five months off!
As I’m sure you know – Martha will be going to women’s federal penitentiary or as she calls it, "Trading Spaces: Meet Your New Mommy.”
Did you see Martha’s press conference? She said when she goes to jail she will miss her dogs, cats, canaries horses and chickens. That’s gotta make her daughter feel special? She didn’t even make the top five! Can’t you squeeze her in between the canary and the chicken.
You know, I don’t think Martha gets it. She still has the little kind of arrogant thing. Like today she asked the judge if she could have two cells, so she could have a walk in closet.
Hey, Saturday, the Miss America Pageant. This year the organizers are promising more skin and less talent. Less talent? Is that possible? Turning a lamp on and off to music? We’re not going to see that this year?
Today Oprah announced her selection for her latest book in her book club. It’s the General Motors Pontiac Repair Manual.
