Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Leno
John Kerry has crticized President Bush's reaction on 9/11. John Kerry said if he were reading to children at that moment he would have told then he had something important to attend to. Let me tell you something - if John Kerry was reading to children, first he would have to wake them up. "Kids I gotta go now...kids?!...kids?!"
Record heat wave here today in Los Angeles. What was it? 102? I was sweatin' like the Lakers when they heard the word "trade".
Actually shouldn't it just be Laker now, isn't Kobe pretty much the only one left?
I'm ready for fall. I'm getting sick of these summer TV shows. It's all reality shows. Makeover shows...dating shows...quiz shows...do you realize the only thing on TV all summer with a plot is al Qaeda?
Now the FBI says that al Qaeda may attempt to use limousines in future terrorist attacks. You know what that means? Jayson Williams could be our first line of defense.
Over the weekend President Bush who got into Yale after his father and grandfather went there, talked about the evils of alumni getting preferential treatment. He said he had to knock on a lot of doors to be successful. This is the kind of thing that drives Kerry people nuts, while President Bush inherited his money, Kerry earned his the old fashioned way - he married it.
Scientists announced today they have successfully cloned domestic housecats. Hopefully, this will end that tragic housecat shortage.
Alice Cooper's pet python needed emergency surgery after it swallowed a heating pad. That's how you know you might be getting too old for rock-n-roll...when your snake eats your heating pad.
John Kerry has crticized President Bush's reaction on 9/11. John Kerry said if he were reading to children at that moment he would have told then he had something important to attend to. Let me tell you something - if John Kerry was reading to children, first he would have to wake them up. "Kids I gotta go now...kids?!...kids?!"
Record heat wave here today in Los Angeles. What was it? 102? I was sweatin' like the Lakers when they heard the word "trade".
Actually shouldn't it just be Laker now, isn't Kobe pretty much the only one left?
I'm ready for fall. I'm getting sick of these summer TV shows. It's all reality shows. Makeover shows...dating shows...quiz shows...do you realize the only thing on TV all summer with a plot is al Qaeda?
Now the FBI says that al Qaeda may attempt to use limousines in future terrorist attacks. You know what that means? Jayson Williams could be our first line of defense.
Over the weekend President Bush who got into Yale after his father and grandfather went there, talked about the evils of alumni getting preferential treatment. He said he had to knock on a lot of doors to be successful. This is the kind of thing that drives Kerry people nuts, while President Bush inherited his money, Kerry earned his the old fashioned way - he married it.
Scientists announced today they have successfully cloned domestic housecats. Hopefully, this will end that tragic housecat shortage.
Alice Cooper's pet python needed emergency surgery after it swallowed a heating pad. That's how you know you might be getting too old for rock-n-roll...when your snake eats your heating pad.
