Saturday, August 14, 2004
Leno
In a stunning announcement, New Jersey Governor James McGreevey announced that he had an extramarital affair with another man. Finally a Democrat who can honestly say, "I did not have sex with that woman!" See politicians are just sleazy. Gay, straight, black or white, they're all sleazy!
Let's see what's new with Mike "You'll never take me alive" Wallace!
"60 Minutes" correspondent Mike Wallace, who's 86 years-old was arrested for disorderly conduct in New York City after arguing with parking officials over where his limo driver had parked. Parking security said he was double parked. Mike was mad! He was ready to fight. In fact, at one point he removed his jacket and teeth!
Police officials said today, this is the first time an 86 year old man was handcuffed by someone other than Anna Nicole Smith.
Well folks it's that time of the year again. Everybody is "going for the gold". But enough about Kobe's accuser.
U.S. Athletes have been warned against "extravagant flag waving" after winning an Olympic Medal or they will be dealt with! I love the priorities. You can burn the American Flag and get away with it, but God forbid you wave it or you are in serious trouble.
Are you excited about the Olympics? Isn't it nice a change of pace? You get to see countries fighting over gold instead of oil.
For the first time in history all 28 Olympic Sports are going to be televised. They can televise all 28 because NBC has so many channels. We have NBC, MSNBC, CNBC. We even have the Bravo Network for the gay sports like synchronized badminton and that ribbon thing.
How about Iraq today? The Iraqi Soccer Team beat Portugal today in a preliminary game in Olympic Soccer. What a big victory for Iraq. People in Baghdad were going crazy. Shooting guns in the air, turning over cars, starting fires. It looked like a war zone.
Let's see what's going on in the Scott Peterson murder trial. Scott's mistress, Amber "I hope he Fries", testified again today. You remember Amber - she's the one Scott didn't kill.
Amber also testified today that Scott called her on the phone on New Year's Day, pretending he was in Paris, on business. That makes perfect sense seeing as how he's a fertilizer salesman. They have to go to Paris all the time.
The California Supreme Court has ruled that all those gay marriages that took place a few months ago are null and void. In just one day the Supreme Court has nullified almost as many marriages as Jennifer Lopez.
I just read Donald Trump's new book - but I'm stuck on "Chapter 11".
In a stunning announcement, New Jersey Governor James McGreevey announced that he had an extramarital affair with another man. Finally a Democrat who can honestly say, "I did not have sex with that woman!" See politicians are just sleazy. Gay, straight, black or white, they're all sleazy!
Let's see what's new with Mike "You'll never take me alive" Wallace!
"60 Minutes" correspondent Mike Wallace, who's 86 years-old was arrested for disorderly conduct in New York City after arguing with parking officials over where his limo driver had parked. Parking security said he was double parked. Mike was mad! He was ready to fight. In fact, at one point he removed his jacket and teeth!
Police officials said today, this is the first time an 86 year old man was handcuffed by someone other than Anna Nicole Smith.
Well folks it's that time of the year again. Everybody is "going for the gold". But enough about Kobe's accuser.
U.S. Athletes have been warned against "extravagant flag waving" after winning an Olympic Medal or they will be dealt with! I love the priorities. You can burn the American Flag and get away with it, but God forbid you wave it or you are in serious trouble.
Are you excited about the Olympics? Isn't it nice a change of pace? You get to see countries fighting over gold instead of oil.
For the first time in history all 28 Olympic Sports are going to be televised. They can televise all 28 because NBC has so many channels. We have NBC, MSNBC, CNBC. We even have the Bravo Network for the gay sports like synchronized badminton and that ribbon thing.
How about Iraq today? The Iraqi Soccer Team beat Portugal today in a preliminary game in Olympic Soccer. What a big victory for Iraq. People in Baghdad were going crazy. Shooting guns in the air, turning over cars, starting fires. It looked like a war zone.
Let's see what's going on in the Scott Peterson murder trial. Scott's mistress, Amber "I hope he Fries", testified again today. You remember Amber - she's the one Scott didn't kill.
Amber also testified today that Scott called her on the phone on New Year's Day, pretending he was in Paris, on business. That makes perfect sense seeing as how he's a fertilizer salesman. They have to go to Paris all the time.
The California Supreme Court has ruled that all those gay marriages that took place a few months ago are null and void. In just one day the Supreme Court has nullified almost as many marriages as Jennifer Lopez.
I just read Donald Trump's new book - but I'm stuck on "Chapter 11".
