Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Leno
Welcome to "The Tonight Show”. We’re in California, home of the girly men.
I’m very excited! We have Senator John McCain is on the program tonight. He was our 1st choice as a guest but as a backup we have John Edwards standing by in case he can’t do it.
You know about this – Governor Schwarzenegger is in trouble for using the term "girlie men” to refer to Democratic legislatures in Sacramento. Of course Democrats are now calling the remark, "homophobic”. You know even the "Queer Eye for The Straight Guy” guys are going, "Shut up! It’s a joke!”
I’m sure you know, Martha Stewart is going to jail. Or as she calls it, "J Mart.”
To their credit, K-Mart said it will stand by Martha. They are standing by Martha. And Whoopie Goldberg said, "Boy did I sign with the wrong company.”
Here’s something amazing - Martha Stewart’s stock went up 30% after he sentencing. She made $77 million the day she was sentenced. In fact after she heard her stock went up 30%, Martha Stewart asked, "Could I get a tougher sentence?”
Isn’t that crazy? She’s going to prison and the company goes up in value. Here’s my question – can’t we get Alan Greenspan arrested on something, give the economy a boost? Book him on anything, use that Patriot Act….
Medicare has now decided to recognize obesity as an illness. Oh man, you thought Medicare was bankrupt before.
"I, Robot” was the number one movie in the country. At least that’s what my computer told me.
Kilborn
You know those raging wildfires heading for L.A.? Today the city did something about it. They had the L.A. P.D. beat the crap out of them.
Welcome to "The Tonight Show”. We’re in California, home of the girly men.
I’m very excited! We have Senator John McCain is on the program tonight. He was our 1st choice as a guest but as a backup we have John Edwards standing by in case he can’t do it.
You know about this – Governor Schwarzenegger is in trouble for using the term "girlie men” to refer to Democratic legislatures in Sacramento. Of course Democrats are now calling the remark, "homophobic”. You know even the "Queer Eye for The Straight Guy” guys are going, "Shut up! It’s a joke!”
I’m sure you know, Martha Stewart is going to jail. Or as she calls it, "J Mart.”
To their credit, K-Mart said it will stand by Martha. They are standing by Martha. And Whoopie Goldberg said, "Boy did I sign with the wrong company.”
Here’s something amazing - Martha Stewart’s stock went up 30% after he sentencing. She made $77 million the day she was sentenced. In fact after she heard her stock went up 30%, Martha Stewart asked, "Could I get a tougher sentence?”
Isn’t that crazy? She’s going to prison and the company goes up in value. Here’s my question – can’t we get Alan Greenspan arrested on something, give the economy a boost? Book him on anything, use that Patriot Act….
Medicare has now decided to recognize obesity as an illness. Oh man, you thought Medicare was bankrupt before.
"I, Robot” was the number one movie in the country. At least that’s what my computer told me.
Kilborn
You know those raging wildfires heading for L.A.? Today the city did something about it. They had the L.A. P.D. beat the crap out of them.
