Saturday, June 26, 2004
Leno
The wife and daughters of Yankees pitcher Jose Contreas escaped from Cuba by boat yesterday and were reunited with the Yankee pitcher. And luckily Contreas meets the three requirements for his family to stay in America: a fastball, a curveball, and the slider.
The "New York Post” is reporting today that Clinton now feels he has two more autobiographies left to write. That’s what I love about Clinton – he’s the only guy in the world who has three different versions of his life story. One for him, one for Hillary, one for the grand jury.
The big story continues to be President Clinton’s best selling book. On the news tonight they interviewed Clinton’s editor. Editor? The book is 957 pages long! What the hell did he edit?
The book is huge. And actually, it folds out into a bed.
In the book, Clinton says that "in politics, if you don’t toot your own horn, it usually stays untooted.” And if you get someone else to toot your horn, you get impeached.
In his book, Bill Clinton talks about the point where Hillary started to laugh again. It was when he told her "Look, I’ll never cheat on you again. I promise.” Apparently she got hysterical.
Have you heard this rumor Shaq may go to the Dallas Mavericks. Oh man, you thought his rap album was bad, what’s his country western music going to be like. Oh my God!
Earlier this week, Ralph Nader named his running mate. It’s Green Party activist Peter Camejo. Camejo is actually a Spanish word that means "no votes”!
A judge has ok’d class-action lawsuit against Wal-Mart that claims 1.6 million current and former female workers were discriminated against. These women say the harassment made them feel even cheaper than the crap they were selling at Wal-Mart.
The wife and daughters of Yankees pitcher Jose Contreas escaped from Cuba by boat yesterday and were reunited with the Yankee pitcher. And luckily Contreas meets the three requirements for his family to stay in America: a fastball, a curveball, and the slider.
The "New York Post” is reporting today that Clinton now feels he has two more autobiographies left to write. That’s what I love about Clinton – he’s the only guy in the world who has three different versions of his life story. One for him, one for Hillary, one for the grand jury.
The big story continues to be President Clinton’s best selling book. On the news tonight they interviewed Clinton’s editor. Editor? The book is 957 pages long! What the hell did he edit?
The book is huge. And actually, it folds out into a bed.
In the book, Clinton says that "in politics, if you don’t toot your own horn, it usually stays untooted.” And if you get someone else to toot your horn, you get impeached.
In his book, Bill Clinton talks about the point where Hillary started to laugh again. It was when he told her "Look, I’ll never cheat on you again. I promise.” Apparently she got hysterical.
Have you heard this rumor Shaq may go to the Dallas Mavericks. Oh man, you thought his rap album was bad, what’s his country western music going to be like. Oh my God!
Earlier this week, Ralph Nader named his running mate. It’s Green Party activist Peter Camejo. Camejo is actually a Spanish word that means "no votes”!
A judge has ok’d class-action lawsuit against Wal-Mart that claims 1.6 million current and former female workers were discriminated against. These women say the harassment made them feel even cheaper than the crap they were selling at Wal-Mart.
