Friday, June 18, 2004
Leno
The Lakers "dream team” is now the "keep dreaming” team.
Everybody thought the Lakers would win. Even John Kerry said he rooted for the Lakers before he rooted against them.
Howard Dean said the downfall of his campaign started with the Al Gore endorsement. Hey you don’t think al gore could have secretly endorsed the Lakers, do you?
President Bush got some good economic news today: over a million new jobs created in the past four months.
That actually hurts John Kerry, because he’s looking for a vice presidential running mate, and let’s face it, that’s usually someone who’s unemployed and desperate.
Anna Nicole Smith has broken a couple of ribs. She reportedly fell off a boat. Actually this is a first for her – usually when she breaks ribs it’s from hugging her 98 year old husband.
Letterman
Graduations are going on around the country. Here in New York City we have a lot of honor students. "Yes your honor, not guilty your honor, no your honor…”
The Pistons beat up on the Lakers. This means that the only Laker getting a ring this year is Kobe Bryant’s wife.
Michael Jackson was seen at a Taco Bell in L.A. He was seen at a Taco Bell and he was wearing a Spiderman mask. If this guy isn’t careful people might start thinking he was weird.
Conan
Last night the Detroit Pistons beat the L.A. Lakers for the NBA title. When asked where the Pistons were going to go now that they’ve won the championship they said, "Anywhere but Detroit.”
Kilborn
Last night the Detroit Pistons defeated the L.A. Lakers for the NBA title. There were riots, fights and broken windows – and that was just in the Lakers locker room.
The good news for Laker fans is that Kobe Bryant feels so guilty that he’s going to buy every fan a ring.
The Lakers "dream team” is now the "keep dreaming” team.
Everybody thought the Lakers would win. Even John Kerry said he rooted for the Lakers before he rooted against them.
Howard Dean said the downfall of his campaign started with the Al Gore endorsement. Hey you don’t think al gore could have secretly endorsed the Lakers, do you?
President Bush got some good economic news today: over a million new jobs created in the past four months.
That actually hurts John Kerry, because he’s looking for a vice presidential running mate, and let’s face it, that’s usually someone who’s unemployed and desperate.
Anna Nicole Smith has broken a couple of ribs. She reportedly fell off a boat. Actually this is a first for her – usually when she breaks ribs it’s from hugging her 98 year old husband.
Letterman
Graduations are going on around the country. Here in New York City we have a lot of honor students. "Yes your honor, not guilty your honor, no your honor…”
The Pistons beat up on the Lakers. This means that the only Laker getting a ring this year is Kobe Bryant’s wife.
Michael Jackson was seen at a Taco Bell in L.A. He was seen at a Taco Bell and he was wearing a Spiderman mask. If this guy isn’t careful people might start thinking he was weird.
Conan
Last night the Detroit Pistons beat the L.A. Lakers for the NBA title. When asked where the Pistons were going to go now that they’ve won the championship they said, "Anywhere but Detroit.”
Kilborn
Last night the Detroit Pistons defeated the L.A. Lakers for the NBA title. There were riots, fights and broken windows – and that was just in the Lakers locker room.
The good news for Laker fans is that Kobe Bryant feels so guilty that he’s going to buy every fan a ring.
