Friday, May 14, 2004
Leno
According to our latest intelligence, Osama bin Laden is living somewhere in Pakistan, but the Pakistani authorities say they have no idea where he is.
Oh shut up! Do you believe that? I mean if a 6’5”guy with five wives and 40 kids moved next door to you, wouldn’t you notice?
Welcome to Las Vegas. I tell you I had a bad night last night. I dropped $500. Not in the casino. I bought a few postcards, some gum and a bottled water at the gift shop.
There’s a lot going in town – in fact the other night, I saw a great heavyweight fight last night. Two women at the buffet over a glazed ham.
The unemployment rate in Vegas is among the lowest in the country. But every kind of job is available here. I mean who else is hiring pirates, Roman gladiators, Egyptian chariot drivers you can’t get those jobs in other cities.
Letterman
It’s an exciting night here in the Ed Sullivan Theater. The entire balcony is full of ex Jennifer Lopez fiancés.
According to our latest intelligence, Osama bin Laden is living somewhere in Pakistan, but the Pakistani authorities say they have no idea where he is.
Oh shut up! Do you believe that? I mean if a 6’5”guy with five wives and 40 kids moved next door to you, wouldn’t you notice?
Welcome to Las Vegas. I tell you I had a bad night last night. I dropped $500. Not in the casino. I bought a few postcards, some gum and a bottled water at the gift shop.
There’s a lot going in town – in fact the other night, I saw a great heavyweight fight last night. Two women at the buffet over a glazed ham.
The unemployment rate in Vegas is among the lowest in the country. But every kind of job is available here. I mean who else is hiring pirates, Roman gladiators, Egyptian chariot drivers you can’t get those jobs in other cities.
Letterman
It’s an exciting night here in the Ed Sullivan Theater. The entire balcony is full of ex Jennifer Lopez fiancés.
