Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Leno
What a crowd! You sound as happy as Mark Geragos when he heard he didn’t have to defend Michael Jackson anymore!
That’s the big story – Michael and Mark Geragos have split up. Apparently Michael’s upset with Geragos because he wouldn’t play ball. He also wouldn’t play tag, hide-n-seek, or kick the can.
Actually the other rumor is that Mark Geragos quit. See that’s when you know you’re in trouble, when you’re lawyer looks at both his big cases and decides Scott Peterson may be the more innocent one.
Did you hear about this? Our good friend Billy Joel, had another accident, no drugs or alcohol involved, just a bad driver. He wasn’t drunk or anything, nothing like that, he drove and he hit a house. So when they say Billy Joel is in the house, he’s in the house.
John Kerry was talking about his concerns for the environment the other day. But when a reporter asked him if he owned the SUV that was in his driveway he said that it belonged to his wife. And the car that was in the living room, belonged to Billy Joel.
The Dominican Republic has pulled its 300 soldiers out of Iraq. I didn’t know they had an army did you? The only Dominicans I’ve ever seen in uniform are playing for the Yankees.
President Clinton’s memoirs are gonna be released in June. It’s called "Drill Bill.”
Bill Clinton’s memoirs will be called "My Life”. Today, on TV I saw one publisher estimate Clinton’s book could be close to 700 pages. Isn’t that amazing? Even Clinton’s books are fat.
It seems Omarosa has lost her shampoo deal. She had tried out for an Herbal Essence commercial but they decided not to use her. Apparently they tested her ad with consumers, and she tended to make people tear their hair out rather than wash it.
What a crowd! You sound as happy as Mark Geragos when he heard he didn’t have to defend Michael Jackson anymore!
That’s the big story – Michael and Mark Geragos have split up. Apparently Michael’s upset with Geragos because he wouldn’t play ball. He also wouldn’t play tag, hide-n-seek, or kick the can.
Actually the other rumor is that Mark Geragos quit. See that’s when you know you’re in trouble, when you’re lawyer looks at both his big cases and decides Scott Peterson may be the more innocent one.
Did you hear about this? Our good friend Billy Joel, had another accident, no drugs or alcohol involved, just a bad driver. He wasn’t drunk or anything, nothing like that, he drove and he hit a house. So when they say Billy Joel is in the house, he’s in the house.
John Kerry was talking about his concerns for the environment the other day. But when a reporter asked him if he owned the SUV that was in his driveway he said that it belonged to his wife. And the car that was in the living room, belonged to Billy Joel.
The Dominican Republic has pulled its 300 soldiers out of Iraq. I didn’t know they had an army did you? The only Dominicans I’ve ever seen in uniform are playing for the Yankees.
President Clinton’s memoirs are gonna be released in June. It’s called "Drill Bill.”
Bill Clinton’s memoirs will be called "My Life”. Today, on TV I saw one publisher estimate Clinton’s book could be close to 700 pages. Isn’t that amazing? Even Clinton’s books are fat.
It seems Omarosa has lost her shampoo deal. She had tried out for an Herbal Essence commercial but they decided not to use her. Apparently they tested her ad with consumers, and she tended to make people tear their hair out rather than wash it.
