Saturday, April 24, 2004
Leno
"Earth Day is Al Gore’s favorite day. You know his least favorite day? Election Day."
"A lot of people marked earth day by walking to work. They're not environmentalists, they just can't afford the gas."
"Spain, could they run any faster? Apparently they were thrilled when they found out the Baghdad Hilton has express checkout."
"In a surprise move on Monday, the CEO of U.S. Airways resigned under pressure. He was asked to leave out the front, the back or the two side exits."
"Martha Stewart took her daughter to work and they practiced making license plates together."
"As you know John Kerry has a purple heart from shrapnel. And of course Dick Cheney has a purple heart from cheeseburgers and deep dish pizza."
"Yesterday the Walt Disney Company fired the entire top management structure at ABC. I was shocked. I didn’t know anybody was even running ABC."
"Earth Day is Al Gore’s favorite day. You know his least favorite day? Election Day."
"A lot of people marked earth day by walking to work. They're not environmentalists, they just can't afford the gas."
"Spain, could they run any faster? Apparently they were thrilled when they found out the Baghdad Hilton has express checkout."
"In a surprise move on Monday, the CEO of U.S. Airways resigned under pressure. He was asked to leave out the front, the back or the two side exits."
"Martha Stewart took her daughter to work and they practiced making license plates together."
"As you know John Kerry has a purple heart from shrapnel. And of course Dick Cheney has a purple heart from cheeseburgers and deep dish pizza."
"Yesterday the Walt Disney Company fired the entire top management structure at ABC. I was shocked. I didn’t know anybody was even running ABC."
